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Post by phil collins on Mar 2, 2013 14:40:57 GMT -5
I'm a second rate drummer that used to be in a band called Genesis. I used to be a first rate drummer but due to my severe athletes feet* I can't use the kick-drum.
*When I say athletes feet I don't mean it in the traditional sense. I actually have Ben Johnsons old feet surgically attached. The surgeon accidentally put them on back to front. I don't know if I'm coming or going. Tying my shoelaces is nearly impossible. So is biting my toe-nails.
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Post by Irwin Tunnel on Mar 3, 2013 13:25:24 GMT -5
Life is hard, isn't it?
You DO know you've got the other foot for the bass drum, right? Or does the "coming or going" part take effect so much that you can't use the other foot?
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Post by keef moon on Mar 4, 2013 10:05:41 GMT -5
That Collins is a twat. When I was in The 'Oo I used to sellotape sticks to my feet so that I could hit four different drums at once and hit the bass drum wiv me 'ead. That was before I was dead, like.
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Post by myldethang on Mar 7, 2013 12:32:43 GMT -5
WHAN that Aprille with his shoures soote The droghte of Marche hath perced to the roote, And bathed every veyne in swich licour, Of which vertu engendred is the flour; Whan Zephirus eek with his swete breeth Inspired hath in every holt and heeth The tendre croppes, and the yonge sonne Hath in the Ram his halfe cours y-ronne,
I just needed to get that off my chest.
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Post by The Pope on Mar 12, 2013 16:31:18 GMT -5
Verily I say unto thee...
Three nuns in church on a hot day decide to remove their robes because of the heat. A little later, the door bell rings.
Who it is? They ask. "The blind man," a voice replies.
The three nuns open the door. He walks in, looks at the nuns and says, "Nice tits! Where do you want me to install these blinds?"
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Post by Irwin Tunnel on Mar 13, 2013 20:59:17 GMT -5
Ha ha, didn't see that punchline coming ;D
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Post by the new pope on Mar 14, 2013 10:18:31 GMT -5
... and that is why the old pope had to go... Jokes not allowed in the Vatican.
I see this is a foot thread...
I AM THE NEW POPE AND YOU MAY KISS MY FEET
...they're old and crusty and drier than Ghandhi's sandals but kiss them anyway.
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Post by myldethang on Mar 22, 2013 9:29:50 GMT -5
فِيهِمَا مِنْ كُلِّ فَاكِهَةٍ زَوْجَانِ فَبِأَيِّ آلَاءِ رَبِّكُمَا تُكَذِّبَانِ مُتَّكِئِينَ عَلَىٰ فُرُشٍ بَطَائِنُهَا مِنْ إِسْتَبْرَقٍ ۚ وَجَنَى الْجَنَّتَيْنِ دَانٍ فَبِأَيِّ آلَاءِ رَبِّكُمَا تُكَذِّبَانِ
I just needed to get that off my chest...
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Post by Irwin Tunnel on Mar 23, 2013 18:08:50 GMT -5
Translation?
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Post by The Translator on Mar 25, 2013 10:56:45 GMT -5
Greetings!
Fear not, Earthling. For I am the official interplanetary translator from Jehovamishatron.
I can confirm that the Earthling (in this instance) speaks nothing but nonsense!
Farewell!
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Post by Irwin Tunnel on Mar 25, 2013 22:43:18 GMT -5
Well, I already knew that.
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Post by The Translator on Mar 26, 2013 11:31:31 GMT -5
Greetings once more!
Yes. He truly is an arse of galactic proportions!
By the way (as I understand you say on this floating ball of mud), I spelled Jehovahamishatron incorrectly in my last inter-stellar message.
Apologies.
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Post by Gnomezone on Mar 26, 2013 11:39:28 GMT -5
I'd like to say
I've been away
But now I'm back
Biddely biddely bing.
(I really must work on my rhyming couplets.)
I was doing my thing
But down on my luck
Now I'm back
Who gives a sausage.
Mmmm. Nope. Nearly, but not quite.
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Post by Irwin Tunnel on Mar 27, 2013 17:12:50 GMT -5
I have sausage. I'll share. (Um, that might not come out sounding right.)
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Post by Captain Sensible on Apr 1, 2013 17:21:17 GMT -5
Thank heavens there's no silliness on this very sensible forum. (Seeing how it's April 1st.)
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